i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
