He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
