Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
