I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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