I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
