No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize