haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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