I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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