do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
