Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
