Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
