I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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