tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
