I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
did i just pee glitter
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
