I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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