I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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