Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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