Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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