i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
