The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
