Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
