those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
