Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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