You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Shame - the story of my life.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
