do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
