my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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