do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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