ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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