I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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