I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
