My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
