i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
