Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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