So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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