Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
