I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
