Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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