sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
