My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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