She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
