i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
