so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize