did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
