I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
