This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
