i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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