Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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