dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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