I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
