now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
