You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
