okay pat passed out under dana's car
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
