so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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