i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
