i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Randomize
