Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
