My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize