Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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