his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize