my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
