I bet he comes in French.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
