At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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