Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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