I'm going to jail i love you
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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