dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
